I’ve gone green.
When gas went to $4 a gallon the last time, I thought to my self, why is
it some joker sitting behind a desk at a large petroleum company or some
sheik in Iraq can determine how I lived my life. I needed to take control.
I figured if I could stop spending money on gas and support people I
don’t like , I would be a much happier guy. Why not take a bicycle
instead of a gas guzzler. It wouldn’t matter what a gallon of gas costs,
it would be money in my pocket.
I decided to ride a bicycle part way home then catch a bus for the rest
of the ride.
My wife thinks it’s my age. She thinks I’m getting old and crazy. She not
only laughs at me, she tells the people where she works and they laugh at
me too.
I don’t care.
I started last March and my goal was to ride until it snowed or
Thanksgiving, whichever came first.
I did until it started to snow in December.
I’m on my third Deseret Industries mountain bike. The first one, a
Schwinn, I road until the rear wheel bearings began to grind so loud the
dogs began to bark about a mile before and after got near them. The bad
bearings also made it hard to get up enough speed to make it up the hill
just before Franklin. I retired the thing and went on to my next DI bike
another Schwinn.
It wasn’t long before the back bearings went out of it too. It has
nothing to do with Schwinn’s, both of the bikes were old as dirt. They
were probably some of the first mountain bikes ever made. I found another
D I bike recently and I’m quite happy with it. Total investment to this
point is 3 X $15 per bike, $45 plus sales tax, about the same as a tank
of gas.
Why a mountain bike with thick knobby tires and a higher gear ratio
instead of the faster more sleek ram horned racer used by celebrity
racers like Lance Armstrong and similar pros with slim smooth tiny
tires. The same bikes used in the LOTOJA would make a faster ride.
My friend Dan said it best, “there is something obscene watching a fat
guy on a bike with skinny little tires going down the road.”
And what about the thin bright colored spandex clothing pro bikers wear.
I don’t have any spandex. I’ve often wondered why cyclists wear such
attire. I’ve come to the conclusion they wear it for three reasons. One
to impress the passing cars, they are so skinny. Two it makes them worthy
to crowd the highways and next to their buddies four bikes side by side.
Third maybe they wear the stuff so they can be noticed by passing cars.
Who knows?
A big body guy like my self in spendex should be against the law. Every
wrinkle and roll would vibrated down the pavement as peddle down the
pavement. Think of the traffic accidents caused by the laughter of
passing motorists.
I figure an enormous guy like my self on a bike needs no spandex to be
noticed, people can see me for miles. I wore a hole in a brand new pair
of jeans, so I purchased some nylon athletic warm-ups from the same
place I bought my bikes. I tucked the warm ups into one sock to keep them
out of the gears. I also wear a long T-shirt to protect drivers from
plumbers crack. That’s the kind of attire expected for a large bodied man
making time along the highway on a mountain bike.
It looks so hideous, what motorists cant see a big ball of dark blue on
two wheels with a red face inching down the highway at a slow rate of
speed. Two years later, I'm still doing it.
By RODNEY D. BOAM
Citizen editor
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